Wednesday, October 27, 2010

This Song Resonates with Me

I literally wake up each morning counting my blessings. In fact, I have been abundantly blessed. I suppose that's why it's so important to overcome adversity and be at peace with whatever outcome it may be, even if takes awhile (months and even years) for it to sink in. Being at peace, is the key, for me.

Jared and I continue to marvel at the latest development in our married life. It has been four years in the making and yes, it's been a "long" journey however we are also acutely aware that there are many couples and even singles out there who have been trying for much "longer" - many have experienced parenthood and others may never experience parenthood. That's life and eventually one has to accept reality with the hope that it just isn't meant to be. A prospect that I am well aware of because I have struggled with this possibility for the last 4 years. It's absolutely heart-breaking.

At my fifth and last IVF cycle, I knew in my heart that my journey with infertility treatments were about to come to a end because it has been an arduous journey. I was starting to feel very strained (mentally, physically and emotionally) of disappointments and heartbreaks. I also knew back then that I will never regret on our decision to have embarked on this roller coaster of a journey even if we never conceived because it is our joint desire to have a family and know that we will regret for not having given it our all.

I am so grateful to my spouse for standing by me through it all, for giving me the strength and perspective to remain objective through this incredibly personal passage. He is the reason I keep persisting and the happiness he radiants these days makes it so worth it!

Today I am 11 weeks 6 days pregnant and it is my second pregnancy within a two year period. I am in a good place and feel much calmer with my current pregnancy as compared with the first (which resulted in a miscarriage at 7 weeks) because I have learnt that if it's meant to be, it will be and that I am not in control. Whatever will be, will be.

We continue to take each day in our stride and marvel at this miraculous development. Today, I came across this song and it brought tears of joy to my eyes:

Blessed by Elton John

Hey you, you're a child in my head
You haven't walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you'll be blessed

I know you're still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I've ever seen
Anyway you'll be blessed

And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed

I need you before I'm too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you're blessed

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