The Kitchen Garden is taking a 'rest' because...

...there's a life changing development in my life. Though it's still early weeks (11 weeks, 4 days to be exact) and since this blog is not frequented by many, I feel 'safe' to share this update here and wonder how many will actually read it. Is this a dare, you ask? Most certainly not.

For years, I have read blogs, status updates, heard and met up with numerous friends who have gone on to have a family. I often wonder "Will I ever be one of them?" Despite being blessed with a loving and stable marriage, I wasn't entirely certain that children will be on the cards for me, because I have never truely felt maternal. Does this make sense to you? Due to the lack of feeling maternal, I have also questioned if I am 'parent material'.

I suppose we will never truely know or understand that answer to this question until it happens or in our case, from our years of trying to have a family due to my infertility. I have had numerous conversations with myself and those dear to me about the possibility of me never becoming a mum and that this is something that I must accept so that I do not go through life having regrets.

To cut a very long story short about the fertility beginnings, I shall only give you an 'executive summary' of sorts which traces the ups and downs of our journey:

• At 28, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
• At 29, I started on a course of Clomid, oral medication to aid with ovulation. It did not work because I have very stubborn ovaries
• Started FSH injections as part of AIH program (Artificial Insemination by Husband's Sperm). Attempted this 10 times and also underwent Lapaoscopy (to ascertain if there are any blockages (thank goodness, no so it's still those stubborn ovaries) and Ovarian Drilling (to losen the pearl like casing which surrounds my ovaries in the hope that with injections, I will ovulate)
• At 31, we knew that IVF was the only way if we ever wanted biological children. In April, I underwent Ovarian Drilling for the second time and fell pregnant after my 2nd IVF attempt in October. Sadly, we found out it was a blighted ovum at 7 weeks. It was a very sad and dark time for us (for months, to be exact). I underwent a Suction Currett on the same day. 
•  At 32 (this year), I underwent IVF again in the new Year. Twice in the first half of the year and we went away for a holiday (we've been on many vacations and have never been able to conceive naturally) in July. A month later, we attempted IVF for the 5th time. 
• This time, my gynaecologist decided to try a new protocol that was just approved to improve the quality of my follicles. This particular cycle was the most sore (after egg pick up) and most stressful (I rang the embryologist every single day for 5 days to ascertain how many fertilised follicles had survived, etc etc). On the day of transfer, the embryologist informed us that out of the 6 follicles harvested, 2 have survived and have gone on to grow into blastocysts with a perfect grading of 4AA. We did not hesitate and told the embryologist to "put them both back in" and 14 days later, the blood test confirmed that I am pregnant with HcG level of 1732! I had a hunch back then that I am carrying twins!

6th week scan

By this stage, I have been nauseated since 5th week and was feeling rather miserable if not assured. However, nothing's more assuring than the evidence on the scan.

We were so relief, please, daunted when this came on the screen! You can see a little shadow of a blob in the lower sac. Although we couldn't see a similar shadow in the higher sac, our gynaecologist assured us that her hunch tells her that there's another one in there.

You can imagine how happy and relief we were by this image and those assuring words. We cluthed this scan preciously in our hands and hope to see the other blob in our next scan in the following 2 weeks.

8th week scan

Back in the clinic, still feeling sick and have been averse to food since week 5.

Baby 1 - check out his / her growth in just two weeks!

Baby 2 - we can see you now!!!

The best part? We saw their flickering heartbeats! Gynaecologist also assured us that they are on track - right size, etc etc. We are simply over-the-moon grateful and delighted.

9th week scan

We see our Obstetrician for the first time. No scan pictures will be uploaded for this because the quality was absolutely appalling.

Nonethless, we saw them again and once again assured by their flickering heartbeats and that they are on track.

10th week

No scan but plenty of blood tests and glucose tolerance test.

11th week

No scan and found out that I am Vitamin D + Calcium deficient (no surprises since I am still averse to most food) and that I have Gestational Diabetes (was pre-warned back when I was 28 that I am certain to get this due to medical condition).

What next?

12th week, 4 days  - I will undergo Nuchal Scan

13th week - Meet my Obstetrician for end of First Trimester scan plus referral to Dietician to manage gestational diabetes.

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At this stage, we are very grateful and are taking each day in our stride.